Underwood—The Bubbles
In 2013, under the motto “Pinkies down,” this Oregon winery started putting some of its wine in simple, shiny cans. And we all think it’s pleasant enough. “It’s like if you put a bottle of chardonnay in a Sodastream,” Gibbs says. “Pretty tasty, actually.” Kaner agrees. “It has acid,” he says, noting that the sweetness is well-balanced. “It’s a real wine. That’s a legitimate wine that has bubbles pumped in, like they do with beer.” $28 per four-pack Sofia Blanc de Blancs Mini
Gibbs immediately yanks the tiny straw attached to the can and throws it away. “I’m a grown-ass adult. There are not a lot of straws in my life,” he says. In the glass it was really foamy and more than a little sweet. “Its mousse is really big. It’s not elegant. It seems bizarrely pink-fruited.” But none of us dislike it. “This is totally fine. You’re not going to remember it, which is OK. I’m not going to remember every In-N-Out burger I’ve ever had.” He suggests you keep the can very cold, like a beer. $20 per four-pack Presto Sparkling Cuvée
The duo was less impressed with this sparkling wine from Italy, which—again—is sweet and thick. “It’s not bad,” Gibbs says. “Either the fruit was super-ripe, or it’s got a little residual sugar.” Adds Kaner, noting the buttery heaviness: “There’s unnecessary oak on that.” $12.99 per four-pack WHITES
Porch Pounder Chardonnay
“That is not unenjoyable,” Gibbs hedges. “But I can’t stand that name. If I were going to pound a wine, it would be a light-bodied riesling. The heavy chardonnay from California’s Central Coast comes in regular cans and tall boys. Gibbs continues: “This is very full-throttled with a syrupy canned-fruit smell. But I occasionally eat canned fruit.” Still, pounding is not going to happen. “I don’t know if I could get through a glass of this. It tastes good but cloying, like a good-looking girl with too much makeup.” $24 or $30 per four-pack Jackhammer Chardonnay
Another chardonnay, this one a tall boy from a Monterey County winemaker known for its bottles of cheap pinot noir and unoaked chardonnay. It’s one of the few wines that isn’t trying too hard to please. “Of the chardonnays, I like this by far the best,” Gibbs says. “I’m getting green apple and honeydew, for sure.” $8.99 per 500ml can
Saying only that it’s from California, West Side offers cute cans with a tiny bit of very surprising effervescence. “It’s got that unnatural crème brûlée flavor,” Gibbs says. “It smells like a Chateau St. Jean 1986. But it tastes like a chemistry experiment. It has a weird spritz. Kaner agrees, especially after tasting the finish. “That’s oak chips. Ugh.” $15.99 per four-pack ROSÉ
Underwood Rosé
Just as simple and straightforward as its sparkling but slightly better—bright, happy, rosé-y. “It tastes like those Trader Joe’s dehydrated strawberry snacks,” Gibbs says. “It’s got some salinity to it. I would have no problem drinking that.” $28 per four-pack Porch Pounder
This big-ass rosé is from Paso Robles, where the sun is hot, the grapes are sweet, and the wine is big—which is tough in a rosé, though kind of fun in its own non-Provence way. “It smells like crushed-up children’s vitamins,” Gibbs says. “It’s fruit punch.” $24 per four-pack
RED
Underwood Pinot Noir
This, a pinot noir from Oregon’s Underwood, was the best red wine in a can we tasted. “If I were at a concert at the Greek Theater, I would buy a can of this and be very happy,” Gibbs says. “It’s almost Twizzler-esque. More California than Oregon—that brighter strawberry-and-cherry mix. That’s very easy to sell. That mouthfeel, a medium-minus body.” $28 per four-pack Fiction by Field Recordings
Both Kaner and Gibbs say they could easily sell this wine to their customers—or any American drinker. It’s 36 percent zinfandel, with the remainder mostly Rhône grapes, with some cabernet sauvignon. “That’s a big Paso teeth-stainer,” Gibbs says, marveling at its heaviness. “If you want a wine that tastes like a cocktail, this is it. It smells really nice—blackberry, black cherry, Hostess blueberry pie with a sugar glaze.” $40 per four-pack